Fat Kid Syndrome.

Today I went to Sam's Club and came back with a double pack/freaking huge box of "fat kid oreos". None of the normal or reduced fat kind for me. When it comes to sweets, I overindulge in the sugariest, fattiest, calorie limit breaking way. Hopefully my future man won't tell me I have to get the normal kind. I might cry. Speaking of crying, today at the Provo library I had to pay for damaging a book. Apparently it had water damage and I know I didn't do it. I am kind of like a librarian when it comes to books. I love them to death and would never hurt one. When I was told this, I burst into tears. The poor lady didn't even know what to say to me and all I did was cry and cry and cry and then leave. I might not got back but there is this monster book on Malcolm X that I'm dying to read. Did you know he was muslim? I didn't know this until today and when I told Kamil, he looked at me like everyone on the face of the earth knew that except me. Apparently Muhammad Ali was one of his students...when I didn't know this, Vish looked at me like I was crazy and retarded. Crazy foreign boys. Oh my Indian food! My Chicken Tikka Masala was freaking sex, even though it was so spicy! Rik made goat curry but since I only eat normal animals, I refused to eat it. Michelle made such good naan and the veg pakoras were so amazing! After we watched this bollywood movie that was really good actually. Such a good weekend. Now I just have to get all my EFY stuff finished by friday, go to training on saturday and then start on sunday!

Sometimes I Pretend I'm Indian.

I'm dang good at faking Indian too. My accent is better than Rik's sometime. This weekend (my last free one before EFY) Rik and Michelle are having an Indian dinner and since I know Rik will make lamb curry (eating lamb is against my religion-not really but I lie and say it is) and who knows what else will be made so I'm making my absolute favorite Indian dish seen below-Chicken Tikka Masala.

Anytime we go to eat Indian food, I get it. I've had Indian food tons of places in Utah, Wyoming, California and the best chicken tikka was in Las Vegas. Who knew a city of sinners could make such good food. This better turn out good or else someone might die and I'll cry. Also, my friend James is engaged! When he called me I almost teared up. I love happy phone calls of joy.

Please Put Some Clothes On.

Everytime I go over to Musu's apartment, I see at least one shirtless guy. It didn't look to different from the below picture:

It used to always be Aaron (and for awhile he stopped being an exhibitionist and learned what clothes were. those were the good old days) and then new Mark moved in. So one day, Camel, Aaron and I were watching TV and new Mark comes home and decides to take off his shirt after the gym (I may or may not have audibly gasped in horrified shock) and proceeded to flex and show off his abs. After he went to his room (and I could breathe again), I asked what the F that was about. Camel said that he told new Mark that he wants to see his abs and biceps after he goes to the gym. Today I had to deal with double trouble (half naked Aaron and new Mark) showing off for some girls in their ward. While they have okay bodies, after being friends with the Playmates and seeing them half naked (I nearly passed out everytime and had to peel my eyes off of their perfectly chiseled bodies-Thank you Gold's Gym) those boys (DT) have nothing on them (PM-mostly just JJM). If I must be subjected to halfnakedness, please let it be the man below-Mr. Robert Downey Jr.
Where has this man been all my life (granted he's been around all my life plus some years) and how did I not know he existed until I saw Iron Man 2? Love. But even as attractive as he is shirtless, I definitely prefer my men fully clothed.
Seriously, if only he was single...I guess I'll just have to lust after this man.

I Wish You Weren't Here.

So after paying bills and going to the market and the post office (and being entertained by two of the most adorable boys ever singing and screaming their heads off), I went to get french fries. I decided to go eat at home instead. I happened to be right by the street to EJ's house. I tried to talk myself into driving by but then my tummy got all nervous like it always does when I go to that house and I started heading home. Then a few streets later , I was like "I just want to see who's still there for summer" and decided to go. As I got closer, I got all nervous and sick to my stomach and I wasn't even going there! When I was about to whip around the corner in the opposite direction all quick stat so in case they were having a massive party in the front yard, I wouldn't be noticed and what did I see in the driveway that I didn't expect to see: a little yellow jeep that's what. I had all these questions pop in my head. Is he really there or did he just leave his car there. That made no sense since the top was down on his car and if he was going to leave it there all summer he totally would have it in the garage instead of in his "spot". I'm dying right now. I totally thought he would have gone back home to his sweet little Louisiana but apparently not. I might have to delete his number since I've already considered texting him like 3 times today. I went home and ended up losing it slightly. I bought 2 new bathing suits from VS and ate 4 otter pops, ice cream and made a monster quesadilla. Then I went over to Musu's to watch my beloved GG season finale which ended up being entirely too depressing. Little J is a completely fugly slut. Nate and Serena end so Dan and Serena can have relationship number what, 4? Chuck waits for Blair but she comes too late but for a good reason (Derota had her baby) but Chuck has already banged little J. Blair comes and they are as happy as can be and as Chuck is about to propose, Dan comes seeking revenge for his baby sister's scandy ways. Chuck and Blair end forever. Dan and Vanessa end too. I have a feeling Nate and Vanessa will get together though. Dan and Nate apologize to each other in true bro fashion. In the end, S and B are off to Paris, Little J is off to live with her mother, Nate is whoring it up in NYC, Dan got Georgina preggo and Chuck Bass gets mugged in Europe and is shot. If they kill off Chuck Bass for good, I will never watch GG again. I teared up at the end. While I was wiping my tears on the way out to my car, I hear Aaron calling the "Rich Girl" (apparently I have a nickname now. Remind me to slap him ASAP) but I ignored him. He must have been talking to new Mark and filling him in on new information about me. I just pray they won't be there when I go over to watch Glee tomorrow night. What a freaking day! Tomorrow will be spent preparing for my EFY counselor training in a week from Saturday. 8 am to 4 pm...kill me now. It's probably karma coming back since I complained about my 3 hour training last year...ugh! I have to plan all my lessons and go over everything so I know it all. I'm excited to have all the craziness that is EFY back into my life.

On The Prowl.

My nails. Not me. Well...nope, just my nails actually. Funny story: so last night at Musu's, I had put down my phone and it vibed and Vish was like "Scott from Texas? Now I know why you don't care about Aaron anymore. You're long distancing Scott!" I just said "Yep, now you know". BTW: I don't do the long distance thing. Who knows what will happen when Scotty gets back to Provo, Utard. I guess we'll find out then. Also, my light crush on Aaron is over. Aaron and Angela is gross because then we would be known as A squared and that's just sick and I got told some stuff about him and it grosses me out. Eww...vomit in my mouth. I love having feisty nails.
I also love how I have the natural "talent" of making super ugly faces without the use of photobooth filters. One day, my husband will love my attractive faces especially my ewwface. If any boy out there thinks he can handle the sass, the faces and my hot bod then please send your dating resumes to...pssht, I'm not that desperate yet.

Welcome Back.

So when I arrive back in Provo, I had to catch up on all the latest gossip with my friends and it goes a little something like this:

Musu is great.

Vish is super busy and fatter.

Rik and Michelle and good.

Aaron is in love with Chelsea's roommate and apparently she likes him back. (Goodbye month long crush on Aaron)

There are 2 Marks in their apartment now.

New Mark is cute but blond. (I only do brunettes)

I haven't seen old Mark but that's fine for now.

I miss Scott. (Thank the Lord for text messaging)

I miss Pasc and Los and Tiggy Rache even more.

And Jingle Bells and Father Auten and Dosi Do.

Boo. Let's bring on EFY so I can forget my lack of a life. 2 weeks until the chaos begins.

Good Luck Chuck.

My dad believes that everyone should be able to pack all of their belonging for a week in a backpack. If you need  (or have) more clothing than fits in a backpack, you're "out of your tree". Apparently mis padres had way too many boys and they were able to comply by the backpack packing rule. My older sister could do too and my mom if she had to. Then came me. I'm the type of girl who will probably need a uhaul to  move all the crap I own. What can I say? I love stuff. (Aaron would destroy my ego for saying something like that) Anywho when I came home, I only had the above packing items (only not as cool as the Batman Superman stuff in the picture). I've begun packing my stuff to go back to Utah and have found that in addition to all those bags I have a giant bag filled with all my "new stuff"...kind of a huge problem. Now I have to check a bag to get all of it back to Utah instead of carrying it all on the plane like I usually do...I fail. At least my dad won't be there to have a heart attack when he sees me with that bag too. Goodness gracious. Ahaha, I watched last night's Glee today and thought I was going to pee my pants laughing: Puck and Mercedes? What the L? Kurt macking on Brittany? Just weird. Please go back to being your gay self. I love Kurt. And the boy that's paralyzed that Rachel meets through Finn? Let's just say I teared up a lot and shed some serious tears. Favorite line: "Look out black girl in Glee club whose name I can't remember right now". Love that show so much. When I get back to Utah, I intend of having an in depth analysis on the past 3 episodes with Aaron. Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I'm supposed to hang out with sister Kels, go out to eat with Marjorie and see Ironman 2 with Dos plus I want to get breadsticks from Warehouse and blue coke bottle gummies at the candy store. Action plan: candy store, hang with Kels, breadsticks, Ironman with Dos and chipotle with Marj. Sound crazy enough? Oh and top the day off with laundry and packing. At least my flight doesn't leave until 1 pm.

Watch Your Words.

I loved using random words. I love saying random phrases in espanol but that's beside the point. So the parents, Dos and I were eating dinner and my dad used his favorite made up word "flustrated". I told him that it's not a "real word" so he can't use it and until it's in the dictionary, I won't acknowledge its existence. One of the greatest quotes of Father Auten came next. He replied "The dictionary is the biggest political piece of crap!" Needless to say, I almost had a heart attack from laughing so hard. Nothing gets to Father Auten more than politics, the state of California and Mexicans...Oh how I love that man.

Cougar-licious.

So you've all had to hear about how obsessed I am with my niece but she's hilarious. Our latest conversation happened when we were shopping in Target. As I was talking about boys I was in love with (what else do I talk about these days?) and we were determining who I was most compatible with (she will let me be with anyone but Aaron until she meets him in person) and we were discussing their ages. I'm 22. Aaron is 23, Scott is 22 and Jake is 21. Upon hearing the later, she expresses her disgust while dying of laughter and says "Eww, you'll be a cougar woman!" I replied "Yeah, but I go to BYU so I'm already a cougar by nature". After that she decided BYU might not be the school for her...love love love.

I'm in Love with a Gangster.

I can't even pronounce that last word. I always say gang-stir and apparently that's wrong...whatev. Who gives an ish? Not me. Anywho, my niece told me that even though I love Aaron, he's too ghetto fab for me and he's trying to grow a mustache and all these other "lies" to get me to not like him. My best bet according to her is marry Scott because he's nice, Jake because he's ok, but the best would be to break up TJ's engagement and marry him since he's a total hottie...teenagers these days! I told her I'll find her a cute boy at EFY this summer and give him her number. Seriously Tiggs kills me with anything she says. That's why we're such besties. When she was depressed about boys, I told her I'd get ahold of Jake and we could hang out with him and his little bro to which she responded "As much as I'd love that, I'm too fat right now. Maybe next summer". That killed me but her recent thing is to get me over Aaron since he's a hoodlum. While we were driving on a new route yesterday (aka lost) she saw a street sign for Hood Street and was like "Oh look. Aaron must live there". As we drove by the park, we saw his "California cousins" up to no good. Today in church, I said "Oh look. Aaron's in the scriptures". She replied "Well hood must be in their too" and I was like "Yeah, priestHOOD!" to which she made a disgusted face and closed my scriptures. Ahaha, I love that girl.